I’m ambivalent about writing bios. Not because I’m secretive, it's just writing about myself is awkward. Like, what exactly do you want to know?

If it’s the basics: my childhood nickname was Fingers, (don’t ask), I can’t stand ketchup, (sorry, not sorry, it really doesn’t have to be Heinz), and yes, I was born blonde (the new growth in this pic is AI).

If you want the personal details, though, that’ll cost you—the average junior copywriter salary, let’s say $65,000. Unless you’re Damson Idris. In that case, I’ll spill everything for free.